$0/moFreeHiddenPatron count not public
$1/moBlue Fruit JuiceHiddenDrink a cup of orange juice with food coloring, because you deserve it? Live without guilt! ...That's all I've got. Thanks for helping me stay employed! (Also, access to exclusive content via Patreon! Checked the pinned post!)
$5/moJar of AcidHiddenYou are now allowed to toss green water on people and run away screaming so long as you accept total responsibility for your actions.Read a chapter of The Wandering Inn one update early! Also vote on side stories every two months!
$10/moBowl of Acid FliesHiddenEat a bowl of raisins covered in wasabi. For best effect, substitute raisins for real dead flies.
At this level of donation you can consider yourself a true supporter of the arts, with the understanding that the arts is just me writing on a computer. But I appreciate your support! If I had a bowl of dead flies...I'd probably throw it away and shake your hand instead.
$20/moBed, Breakfast, and Frying PanHiddenYou will now be served breakfast, given your own room, and occasionally hit by a flying frying pan at The Wandering Inn whenever you choose to visit*!
*Please direct any complaints to the local onsite manager, Erin Solstice.
$30/moEnchanted SoupsHiddenBecome part of the enchanted few who can eat their fill of the Wandering Inn's unique dishes! Walk naked through a blizzard, survive being stabbed by a dagger or lift a table over your head! Soups now come in lemon-garlic, mealworm, and spicy haggis flavors.
If you want to give more...that's that this tier is for. There are no more rewards for giving me money. None. But hey, why would you let that stop you?
$50/moExpress Barefoot DeliveryHiddenAnyone crazy enough to donate this much money will be eligible to use our Runner services. Simply hand your delivery off to any barefoot runner you come across and then duck when they throw it back in your face.
Reserved for people with lots of money to spare. Seriously. If you donate at this level you'd better be as rich as Magnolia or I'll cancel your pledge. I can do that, right?
$1000000/moI QuitHiddenCongratulations. If you've donated this much money I'll quit my job writing. If I've got a million dollars there's better things I could do, like donate to the needy, climb a mountain, and forget about worldy needs since I can buy a small slice of the world itself.
Eventually I'll go back to the story. Maybe.