$0/moFreeHiddenPatron count not public
$2/moPEACOCKS - THE GOODSHiddenPeacocks will get access to the SEKRET FUNTIME CONTENT.Maybe it will be me recording a poem as Gary from HE WHO FIGHTS WITH MONSTERS or going on a cooking show and sharing a recipe as Donovan from the Deadman series! (Both actual examples you will get access to if you become a Patron)Peacocks rattle their tales at approximately 25 shakes per second when displaying their plumage to attract a mate. (I don't mean 'mate' like Australians mean 'mate'.)
$5/moPANGOLINS - THE FICTIONHiddenPangolins will of course get SEKRET FUNTIME CONTENT. Also SECRET FUNTIME FICTION. To read here on the patreon and as a PDF download.Not sure if Pangolins will be getting the fiction early or exclusively yet, or the release schedule, more on that to come. But, Chapter One of an original fantasy novel, currently titled THE GAFF is UP.A pangolin's tongue can be as long as the rest of it's entire body from snout to tail.
$10/moPELICANS - EXTRA SOMETHINGHiddenPELICAN patrons will get everything above PLUS every month you get access to A BONUS FUNTIME THING. This tier here is for the Content Connoisseur.Also known as the "Tricycles of the Sky" there are eight living species of pelican.
$15/moPWOMBATSHiddenAt this level you get everything above so SECRET FUNTIME THING and BONUS THING plus you are a Wombat.The P is silent. This tier is thanks to Marzie. Who began pledging $15 BEFORE THERE WAS EVEN A $15 TIER. And thought it should be Wombat level. So now there is. But the alliteration is very important to me so I had to tweak it slightly.Wombats have cubed poop. (Becoming a patron at this level won't change the geometry of your excrement. As far as I am aware.)
$40/moPTERODACTYLS - SOMETHING FOR JUST YOU.HiddenPTERODACTYLS patrons will get everything above so SECRET FUNTIME CONTENT and EXTRA FUNTIME THING PLUS at this level I can do a LITTLE THING JUST FOR YOU. For Pterodactyls I have recorded poems and birthday messages and peptalks, I have jumped on the phone to talk about audiobooks, I have read bedtime stories to them and/or their children. Life and time constraints means it is probably not gonna be every month, but I'll make a good faith effort to sling some personalized thing your way from time to time.*Also if you just want to support me at this level because you are insanely generous and DONT want me to keep bothering you about what your reward is, don't worry, you can also do that.Pterodactyl is from the Greek pterodaktulos meaning "winged finger."
$100/moPOLAR BEARSHiddenI mean no one has ever joined at this high a level so I mean, hey, sign on up and we'll talk. You'll obviously get everything else at the lower tiers. Plus my UNDYING GRATITUDE.Beneath their thick fur, polar bears have jet black skin.